I lack coffee. I lack motivation.

[spacebug]

I have things to do at work. Why is doing things at work difficult sometimes? I look at my inbox, at my notebook scrawled with notes and tasks I haven't done, and then I update lj. I wish that I'd stop feeling vaguely sick and so easily distracted. I think about the service tomorrow, the car I just scraped up, the class I'm taking tonight, the laundry I still haven't done. I wonder if the pictures we did last night look the same in real life as they do in my head, I think about moving and how I didn't want to and where I might live, about why the hell some people so are afraid of or upset about gay people, about friends far away, about email I started and never finished, about the show coming up and how I agreed to play for two hours, about how I don't really know what I'll play for two hours...

Really, so far I seem to be thinking about anything that's not updating our database or finding lost software or emailing a bunch of people about fiscal sponsorship or dealing with accounting details or posting the job that came in or creating the email account or attaching copies of checks to the registration file or sending receipts or any of the other weird little things I do here.

Maybe I really do need coffee to function. Here I thought a smoothie would be better for me.

Comments

[hexagonalcarbon.livejournal.com]

Your job isn't fulfilling. You were "designed" to do other things. Heh. Now I'm tempted to come up with some pseudo religious beliefs that I can hint at with little statements like that. Stuff about the Great Engineer and the celestial blueprint.

[spacebug.livejournal.com]

Heh. Ah, shit, if what I find fulfilling is what I tend to do without needing a little kick in the pants every once in a while, apparently I'm "designed" to fuck around on the internet. How depressing.

[soylentmean.livejournal.com]

Not to mention designed to drink smoothies.

[sarendipatree.livejournal.com]

HOly toledo! I've found my calling in life!

Fuck this work shit. From now on, I'm going to drink smoothies and fuck around on the internet.

I expect to be paid highly!

Er, I expect to be highly paid.

Or, no wait. That's Highly, I expect to be paid. Yeah.