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Nov. 27th, 2006 05:54 pmI think I just said "No" to doing a classical saxophone recital in the spring.
I think it was the right thing to say, all things considered; there was a communication gap that has just been closed.
Priorities are weird. I'm not really sure what mine are all the time.
I really hate passing up opportunities, though, even when I know it's for the best. But I know I want to work on the score or my own music a lot more than I want to take the time to learn someone else's right now, and it wouldn't be fair to take on a project when my heart's not in it enough. I'd just to a half-assed job and resent the time I'd rather be spending doing other things. On the other hand, it could just be the fear of returning to the classical world. I don't think that's it, though.
I always seem to be busy, but I still always have nagging feelings that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not working enough on the things that I say are important to me, or spending time with the people I want to spend time with. Always a balancing act...
My Thanksgiving weekend was pretty good. It seems pretty lame, but I think I most enjoyed hanging out by myself for most of Friday, cleaning the house.
But... it looks nice. Artwork is hung up, and not sitting in a pile in the living room. We put up another set of shelves in the kitchen, bought dishes and glasses that match, replaced the crap shelves in the living room with a nicer one. Pretty small, inexpensive things, but it does a lot to make it feel more finished. Still want another wardrobe or two; I'm guessing I'll get Ikea gift certificates for birthmas that should help.
These things are related, even if they don't seem to be. I get more done when my working spaces are defined, and clean, and I can find stuff, and don't procrastinate what I should be working on by doing the dishes or something instead.
Shit. I'm becoming my Mom.
I think it was the right thing to say, all things considered; there was a communication gap that has just been closed.
Priorities are weird. I'm not really sure what mine are all the time.
I really hate passing up opportunities, though, even when I know it's for the best. But I know I want to work on the score or my own music a lot more than I want to take the time to learn someone else's right now, and it wouldn't be fair to take on a project when my heart's not in it enough. I'd just to a half-assed job and resent the time I'd rather be spending doing other things. On the other hand, it could just be the fear of returning to the classical world. I don't think that's it, though.
I always seem to be busy, but I still always have nagging feelings that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not working enough on the things that I say are important to me, or spending time with the people I want to spend time with. Always a balancing act...
My Thanksgiving weekend was pretty good. It seems pretty lame, but I think I most enjoyed hanging out by myself for most of Friday, cleaning the house.
But... it looks nice. Artwork is hung up, and not sitting in a pile in the living room. We put up another set of shelves in the kitchen, bought dishes and glasses that match, replaced the crap shelves in the living room with a nicer one. Pretty small, inexpensive things, but it does a lot to make it feel more finished. Still want another wardrobe or two; I'm guessing I'll get Ikea gift certificates for birthmas that should help.
These things are related, even if they don't seem to be. I get more done when my working spaces are defined, and clean, and I can find stuff, and don't procrastinate what I should be working on by doing the dishes or something instead.
Shit. I'm becoming my Mom.
