spacebug

Didja hear Honeydew broke her ankle, too? She's #4.

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nibblesonwords.livejournal.com

oh no! :( no, i didn't.

i think it's high time that this curse moves along to another team. when will she be back on her skates?

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We saw a horrible compound ankle fracture at the North Star bout on Saturday. I was sitting next to CTO when that happened, and she winced a bit.

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spikenheimer.livejournal.com

5

kitty, trixie, rizzo, chinese take out, honeydew.

unless you meant rockits, in which case i'll shut up now. ;)

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I was thinkin' Rockits, but I'd forgotten that CTO broke hers, too!

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I've been wondering about this for a while. There are a couple of specific ways that PTSD still affects me. The main one is, if I feel a more-than-jostling physical impact and I didn't see it coming, I get enraged or I start sobbing or I go fetal. My main annoyance about this has been that I really want to mosh when I go to shows. But I've started to envy y'all derby girls, too.

Do you know anyone in roller derby who has to deal with this? Are there ways that women get ready for what derby entails, if they're not used to contact sports?

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That's really interesting. I don't know anyone in derby who deals with that, though I'd say there is kind of a headspace you need to be in to be "okay" with hitting, but like with a lot of things, it comes down to practice. One of my teammates is recently back from having a baby and is still working up to hitting and scrimmaging with us again- it's understandably taking some time for her to do it again and feel relatively safe both mentally and physically. I have some of the same kind of fear about hitting as I do with other potentially risky things I do, like riding a motorcycle. When I haven't hit for a while or I haven't ridden for a while, they're both a little freaky to get used to, but if I'm in the practice of it, it's less so. Hitting is usually one of the last things you learn, so it also helps to know that you're a stable skater and that you know how to fall and that you trust that your gear does catch you and that kind of thing first. I don't know a lot about PTSD, so I don't know if facing triggers like that would help lessen the effects or just make them worse, but, yeah, the best time to wail on someone is when they don't see it coming 'cause there's a far greater liklihood they'll fall down. If you're going to fall, though, going fetal's not a bad instinct. We call it "falling small". :)

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It's interesting that it was an issue for the recently-spawning gal. I didn't think about it being not just about something others think of as concretely traumatic and whatever, but also about having gone through something physical that throws off how you take physicality.

The facing triggers, that is very tricky. I made myself watch "The Accused" repeatedly, thinking it would toughen me up (teenagers do stupid shit like that), and it was like salt in the wound -- it sensitized me further. But this far down the line, who knows? Maybe it'd work. I'll see if I can get The Ex to hit me when I'm not looking. He'll probably go for it. If it works, I'll try the moshing, and then I'll see about trying to skate. I'm not sure about wanting to try derby, but if I don't suck too badly on skates I might give it a shot. On the bright side, I'm too old to be acclimated to blades. They've never felt right.

Thanks. <3

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The pregnant has just as much or more to do with the fact that you have several months of being more sedentary by necessity and additional weight gain and stuff to make up for as the birthing itself and all that other fun ancillary pregnancy stuff. A lot of being safe in derby is playing with folks that are at the same skill/fitness level you are, which is one of the justifications for practice attendance rules (if we miss too many we're not allowed to bout.) If you're skating full out with people who are significantly more skilled and in better shape than you are, it's a lot more likely you'll get hurt.

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Ah, see, this is where I'm exposed -- my own terror of labor and of the growing-thing-inside-you aspect (bizarrely, I still like babies a lot) has made me more blind to that stuff. I watched all my aunts' pregnancies, I should know better...

It sounds like derby is a safe space, in general. That rawks.

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pants_of_doom has PTSD from being shot by the cops, and she's been skating off and on with Boston and Maine.

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And she's another broken ankle!

(deleted comment)

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She asked a question, Simone, and I provided an answer. How about you keep your crazy venom about me out of other people's LJs?

I have no idea why people think that you're nuts.

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Oh, I see. I didn't notice it was you that made the initial posting. I was trying to be helpful to someone I didn't know.

Weirdo.

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I would have been irritated at anyone. It's not about you, it's that I'm sort of tetchy about the PTSD; and anyone thinking that all trauma is the same, that's irritating.

I have no idea why people think you're self-centered.

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Because I try to be humble when accepting compliments, and use self-depricating humor all the time?

Yay, the nameless masses have been brought out on both sides! Now let's both stop polluting Caly's LJ!

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I'm fixing this because, although it was not an unreasonable assumption to make, the fact that I thought you knew it was me that posted the initial comment misguided my response to you. In that context, you would have been saying something extremely obvious, which looked patronizing; also, it bugged me that you would bring up something in a public post that a friend of mine only posts about to their flist. The latter issue is not for me to discuss further really, but I do apologize for the former. It should probably have occurred to me that you wouldn't do that, and that there was information missing from your viewpoint.

The gist of the remainder is: PTSD isn't the same for everyone. I'm quite sure it'd be easier for all involved if it was. I'm not willing to put myself or any nice roller girls through the experience of Losing My Shit if I try out unprepared...

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