That's really interesting. I don't know anyone in derby who deals with that, though I'd say there is kind of a headspace you need to be in to be "okay" with hitting, but like with a lot of things, it comes down to practice. One of my teammates is recently back from having a baby and is still working up to hitting and scrimmaging with us again- it's understandably taking some time for her to do it again and feel relatively safe both mentally and physically. I have some of the same kind of fear about hitting as I do with other potentially risky things I do, like riding a motorcycle. When I haven't hit for a while or I haven't ridden for a while, they're both a little freaky to get used to, but if I'm in the practice of it, it's less so. Hitting is usually one of the last things you learn, so it also helps to know that you're a stable skater and that you know how to fall and that you trust that your gear does catch you and that kind of thing first. I don't know a lot about PTSD, so I don't know if facing triggers like that would help lessen the effects or just make them worse, but, yeah, the best time to wail on someone is when they don't see it coming 'cause there's a far greater liklihood they'll fall down. If you're going to fall, though, going fetal's not a bad instinct. We call it "falling small". :)
It's interesting that it was an issue for the recently-spawning gal. I didn't think about it being not just about something others think of as concretely traumatic and whatever, but also about having gone through something physical that throws off how you take physicality.
The facing triggers, that is very tricky. I made myself watch "The Accused" repeatedly, thinking it would toughen me up (teenagers do stupid shit like that), and it was like salt in the wound -- it sensitized me further. But this far down the line, who knows? Maybe it'd work. I'll see if I can get The Ex to hit me when I'm not looking. He'll probably go for it. If it works, I'll try the moshing, and then I'll see about trying to skate. I'm not sure about wanting to try derby, but if I don't suck too badly on skates I might give it a shot. On the bright side, I'm too old to be acclimated to blades. They've never felt right.
The pregnant has just as much or more to do with the fact that you have several months of being more sedentary by necessity and additional weight gain and stuff to make up for as the birthing itself and all that other fun ancillary pregnancy stuff. A lot of being safe in derby is playing with folks that are at the same skill/fitness level you are, which is one of the justifications for practice attendance rules (if we miss too many we're not allowed to bout.) If you're skating full out with people who are significantly more skilled and in better shape than you are, it's a lot more likely you'll get hurt.
Ah, see, this is where I'm exposed -- my own terror of labor and of the growing-thing-inside-you aspect (bizarrely, I still like babies a lot) has made me more blind to that stuff. I watched all my aunts' pregnancies, I should know better...
It sounds like derby is a safe space, in general. That rawks.
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The facing triggers, that is very tricky. I made myself watch "The Accused" repeatedly, thinking it would toughen me up (teenagers do stupid shit like that), and it was like salt in the wound -- it sensitized me further. But this far down the line, who knows? Maybe it'd work. I'll see if I can get The Ex to hit me when I'm not looking. He'll probably go for it. If it works, I'll try the moshing, and then I'll see about trying to skate. I'm not sure about wanting to try derby, but if I don't suck too badly on skates I might give it a shot. On the bright side, I'm too old to be acclimated to blades. They've never felt right.
Thanks. <3
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It sounds like derby is a safe space, in general. That rawks.