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spacebugS4 has to start being at work at 7am for the holiday season. Cruel and unusual. I got up to make him coffee, and couldn't get back to sleep once he left, so I've been journalling and organizing my mp3s, which are both strangely methodical and relaxing activities.
I had a good vacation-y kind of weekend, but find myself kind of glum and not wanting to return to real life just yet.
I am not feeling excited by any of the music work I have to do right now. While I've been trying to stay positive about it, having to recreate so much stuff after my files got all fubared is so tedious, and so is the process of mixing and reworking. I'm spending all my energy either polishing old songs or learning new software/new gear. I'm not really making anything new, which is what I'd really prefer to be doing, but I have a greater need to finish things, for once. All the steps I'm taking now seem really small and all over the place, so, while I know I must be making progress somewhere, it just feels really scattered and at the pace of, say, a snail on the tundra.
The film score plods and I'd love it if I was more excited to work on it; the pattern of working that we've formed is such that I tend to lose any momentum I build up on it, and the feeling of it lurching along without an end in sight gets tiring. In many senses, I just really want to be done and on to the next thing. My music tends to be on the darker side, and the film is definitely dark- sometimes it's just really hard to work up the want to work on the soundtrack to a descent into madness via suicide and murder, you know? Today, I would like to work on something... god, I don't even know. Just something lighter. Nothing I'm working on right now feels fun, it just feels like work, which sucks.
Anyway, trying to keep taking small steps and hope I find the other side soon.
On a different note, I am excited about my new shoes. I had to give up this notion that the exactly perfect pair would somehow fall from the sky into my lap. So, they are not perfect, but they are something different and new, and that is good.
I had a good vacation-y kind of weekend, but find myself kind of glum and not wanting to return to real life just yet.
I am not feeling excited by any of the music work I have to do right now. While I've been trying to stay positive about it, having to recreate so much stuff after my files got all fubared is so tedious, and so is the process of mixing and reworking. I'm spending all my energy either polishing old songs or learning new software/new gear. I'm not really making anything new, which is what I'd really prefer to be doing, but I have a greater need to finish things, for once. All the steps I'm taking now seem really small and all over the place, so, while I know I must be making progress somewhere, it just feels really scattered and at the pace of, say, a snail on the tundra.
The film score plods and I'd love it if I was more excited to work on it; the pattern of working that we've formed is such that I tend to lose any momentum I build up on it, and the feeling of it lurching along without an end in sight gets tiring. In many senses, I just really want to be done and on to the next thing. My music tends to be on the darker side, and the film is definitely dark- sometimes it's just really hard to work up the want to work on the soundtrack to a descent into madness via suicide and murder, you know? Today, I would like to work on something... god, I don't even know. Just something lighter. Nothing I'm working on right now feels fun, it just feels like work, which sucks.
Anyway, trying to keep taking small steps and hope I find the other side soon.
On a different note, I am excited about my new shoes. I had to give up this notion that the exactly perfect pair would somehow fall from the sky into my lap. So, they are not perfect, but they are something different and new, and that is good.
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welcome to my world
Date: 2007-11-26 03:04 pm (UTC)i need a new job.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-26 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-27 04:03 am (UTC)