Taken from McSweeney's...

[spacebug]

...and posted for djnoise who, I believe, was who introduced me to Kettle Corn (among other things):

Jolly Time Kettle Corn

Submitted by Konstantine Simakis

Imagine if popcorn blew a dope line of snow and you'll begin to understand the addictive allure of kettle corn, a fatty snack that's a lot like normal popcorn except, what the hell? It tastes like candy, and leaves you with a sugary postnasal drip. And don't even try to figure out how they get it to do that. Trust me, I've tried.

Until recently, kettle corn was a curio available only at fairs, freak shows, and other summertime special occasions—but thanks to the sticks-in-the-mud at so-called Jolly Time, now you can pop a batch of kettle corn in the microwave whenever you goddamned please. So go ahead! Stuff handfuls of it into your mouth in the middle of February! While you're at it, listen to Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" on repeat! Yeah, you're desecrating the sanctity of American seasonal tradition, but what do you care, you pinko scum?


In other news, my car died today.

How annoying.

Comments

[r4c.livejournal.com]

How fortuitous that you have that motorcycle! I guess you might need a ride to the gig tomorrow since strapping all your gear on the back of the cycle is probably not too realistic. ;)

[vaxjo.livejournal.com]

Orville Redenbachckhckher makes a micro kettle corn; I discovered it at a Cub some months ago. And if you can find the "Smart Pop" (94% Fat Free!) variety, it is dairy free (the normal kind has butter).

I had regular popping corn last night on which I put both nutritional yeast and [vegan] parmesan. And then my tummy felt a little bad this morning because that's bascially all I ate. Oops.

[windelina.livejournal.com]

oooohhhh...kettle corn!
We call it "crack corn". And it is the perfect PMS food.

[yaaren.livejournal.com]

ha! Those crazy kids at Jolly Time.

Sorry to hear about your car! Good luck at the gig tomorrow. Both karlyn_desteno and I want to go, but that means that one of us would have to use my ID, or beat someone up for theirs so we can have two... or some such nonsense.